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bad news

I've been thinking so much lately...about life and what I really have to live for. We(me+someone I used to know) can't be best friends forever. We're too different...grown apart...different parts in our lives...i can't trust you. I wish I were still as optimistic as I was in high school, I mean last semester. It's crazy how things/people can change just over a few months. I lied when I said I wish I went home for the break. I don't like how you've changed since I left. Your so- called best friends are so full of themselves and don't respect you. Too lost in themselves to give a damn about you. I think you've settled for the subtle abuse because its all you have. Sooner or later, you'll become just like them. I'm not sure if I should remind you of what a real friend is like or leave now before you start to abandon me for your personal reasons. Maybe I'll tell you this one day...hopefully. street lights glowing...happen to be just like mome...
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going on.

i hate crappy school websites that don't post any important information. i'm not writing my 2nd essay...but no one has to know. i don't know the name of the photog, so i guess i've given up. i'm definitely not doing that bullshit 2d project. the whole thing is completely vague, and i didn't come to college to work on that crap . this weekend, i'm going back home. pretty excited. semi-excited. kinda. eh. whatever. i feel like i don't belong with them sometimes. since i don't really feel in place here, i'm stuck in this in-between-friendships void that i won't can't escape until 2012. guys at this school are beyond ridiculous. immature or unavailible. there's never a balance...or maybe i'm not looking hard enough. i don't think i'm putting enough effort into having a social life. i'm not sure i want to...i've worked hard as fuck to get where i am now with my closest friends and i think i'm scared of starting over...
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